Letters To Robbie
by Imaginary-Paperdolls
Summary: Seven years ago, Sportacus confessed his love and left. Two years later Robbie was saved from being hurt. Another three years and he's not so lucky. The seventh year, Robbie get's a letter in the mail, and he's not happy. Throw in insanity and anxiety and you have a shitload of "Waaaaaaah?"


**This story and characters are OOC being that it's been like 8 months since I've last seen Lazytown. Sorry if it's weird and whatnot. I tried to keep Robbie and Sportacus' character the same... Not sure if I failed this one...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Lazytown, I do not own the show nor it's characters. All characters used from the show and the setting of the show is for entertainment purposes only.**

**Warning: This story is a yaoi and includes semi-rape, mentions of rape, insanity, and feels. If for any reason you cannot cope with the mentioned warnings, please enjoy another writer's works instead of wasting your heart and soul on this. If I successfully make you cry and enjoy the story, I have done my job right. Enjoy. See you at the bottom.**

**PS. Just think of them as sexy anime versions of themselves so it won't be weird.**

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><p>Those kids were quiet. Too quiet if you ask me. Yeah I like the silence but there would usually be an occasional annoying song and dance number started by that annoying pink haired girl. But there was nothing. It was strange and kinda creepy. I mean, the only reason why I even went up there was to tell them to shut the hell up. Ok, I'm going out there. You know, as I climbed up, I don't know what made me want to live down in my sewer-like lair. I mean, it's be easier to terrorize those brats from above and yet, I chose to stay down here. Weird right? But yeah, I climbed out and no one was around. I looked around bewildered and confused. Where the hell was everyone? There was a crowd in the distance. I shoved my hands into my pockets and slowly made my way over.<p>

_Therapist: What was going on?_

You were there!

_Therapist: As I said, pretend you're not talking to me._

Fine. The Pink-Haired Girl, the Wannabe-Rich kid, that Computer Freak, that At- Risk/- Practically- Walking- Diabetes kid, and that Follower girl, were crowded around Sportapuke crying. "I'm not surprised that you're not crying." Pink Haired Girl said. "What? What's going on?" I asked. "Sportacus is leaving." Diabetes replied, blowing his disgusting nose into a tissue. "You're making fun of me right?" I said. For some reason, I wasn't happy. How dare he leave me to run rampant in the streets? Soon, the two of us were left alone. It was just me and him. "So... You're leaving... I guess I win." I didn't feel right saying that. Instead, I wanted to say 'Don't go!' or 'Why are you leaving?' or 'I l-' ...

_Therapist: You what?_

Forget it. What was said that day is none of your business. I'm leaving.

_Therapist: Whatever you say Robbie. See you next week._

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><p>I snatch the appointment sheet from my Therapist's hand and stomp out of the office building. I don't see why I have to go to therapy in the first place. I slowly make my way through Lazy Town. The place had become a busy, fast-paced city these past seven years. Like a mini New York. My underground lair went under changes too. It isn't much of a lair anymore. It's more like an underground apartment with my clothes machine still intact and working. I check the mail then head down. I clean up even though I don't have to. My place is always clean. Then I sit at my desk and go through the mail. Bills, junkmail, free gummy samples, the usual, and then there's a letter marked <em>Robbie. <em>I immediately recognize the smell and cursive writing. HE wrote it. I pick it up and smell it causing the memory of that day to wash over me.

_It was after those brats left. I averted my gazed to the ground and kicked at the earth. "Robbie..." I close my eyes, take in his scent, then let out a deep breath. His accent, his damn accent, sent shivers down my spine. I didn't look up. "... Robbie... Look at me..." It was as if his words, his accented words, lifted my head to look at him with an invisible hand. He placed his hand on my cheek and asked "Do you know why I'm leaving?" I searched his face for the answer, but I couldn't find one. "Because you've realized I finally won?" I say. He let's out a hurt sigh. The next thing he did, I didn't see coming. He kissed me. I tried to pull away but my body wouldn't respond. Instead, I felt my eyes close, then I'm kissing him back! Nothing would listen; My heart wouldn't stop racing, the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop fluttering, and my brain wouldn't stop turning to mush while repeating 'We like this. We want this.' And fuck was it true. His tongue explored my too-weak-to-close mouth. Our tongues tongues rolled around, and fought, and danced, and- ohh God I couldn't think. He was the one to pull away. "This Robbie, is why I have to leave... It's because I love you." I stood there, looking like a wide-eyed dummy, even after he left. He loved me?_

God I was so confused. It's been seven years since then. And I haven't seen nor heard from him, until now. I stared at the letter as if it were going to open itself. Then I slow began to open it. In perfect, beautiful cursive, it said:

_"Robbie,_

_ I am not sure how you are feeling about receiving this letter from me after seven years,"_

Actually, I'm pissed.

_"But I want you to know that I am and always have been, thinking of you."_

And Lazy Town made sure that EVERYONE would never stop thinking og you... By building a damn statue of you.

_"I miss you. I miss you and I love you._

_ Sportacus."_

For some reason, I feel tired... So very tired. Does he expect me to reply? Reply? I think not! I push away from my desk and rub my eyes. Seven years and he wants me to still accept the fact that he loves me. Sure. Fuck, why am I so tired? I get up and just go to bed. I glare at the letter I unknowingly taken with me. "You're a real ass Sportacus. A real ass."

It has been two months since I got that stupid letter. It's been haunting my thoughts, my dreams, my freakin Therapy sessions! Stupid therapist says I should reply, so here I am, staring at a blank piece of paper. Writing a letter can't be hard right? I've been sitting here for three freakin hours, so yes, IT'S HARD. God it's hard to think. Well, not really. It's hard trying to think up words to write. Should I tell him how I feel? No. Too expected. Lie? No. He'll be expecting that unexpected expect lie. Fuck! What the hell?! Ok, I need to calm down. I don't want to take my meds. Truth it is.

_"Sportacus,_

_ In all nerve wracking actual honesty, I'm pissed! Not that I was waiting for any sign of you but, seven years? Really?! If I did love you, not saying that I do, I'm sure you'd be happy to know that I am still single and thinking of you... I hate you. I hat you because I hate how you're smell makes me remember that kiss. I hate how your accent sends shivers up and down my spine everytime you speak. I just hate eveything about you. I swear to God I do._

_Robbie"_

God. I didn't re-read or revise. I just folded it up and mailed it away before I could regret it. I don't need this. Love, stress, therapy... I don't need it... I don't need Sportacus. I look around at the never-ending change of Lazy Town, well, Lazy 'City'. I guess I do kinda miss the days of spontaneous burst of song and dance. But those days have been replaced by a boom of a mini Industrial Revolution. As I said before, a mini New York. The isn't even as clean as it used to be thanks to all these cars and factories and whatnot. Damn, I have therapy today.

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><p><em>Therapist: So tell me, how did you and Sporticus meet?<em>

I don't want to talk about him.

_Therapist: Did you reply to his letter?_

I sent it before I came here... Don't give me that look. I'm not telling you what I wrote, it's none of your business.

_Therapist: How did you feel getting the letter after seven years? You never told me._

You keep asking. It's annoying. I was and still am, pissed. Why did he wait seven years? What if I had a life and was in a relationship?

_Therapist: Well are you?_

Of course not! You this already! But still! *Gasp* No one told his ass *gasp* to wait seven damn years *gasp* to-to tell me he-

_Therapist: Calm down Robbie. Have you been taking your meds?_

N-no... no... *Robbie covers his face with one hand and balls the other into a fist.* Fuck them-those stupid pills.

_Therapist: You know you're suppose to be taking them._

I-I don't care... I'm leaving!

_Therapist: Robbie!_

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><p>I step outside, gasping lightly. My damn anxiety. I dig around in my pockets for my pills and soon find them. Damn, I need water. Everything looks blurry and I realize I'm crying. Why am I crying? I look up at his face and cry more. I feel familiar lips on my own then water being transferred to my mouth. I swallow it along with my pill and keep kissing him. He pulls away and wipes away my tears. "You shouldn't skip out on your meds Robbie." He says as he kisses me again. "You're an ass and I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." I reply. I can geel him smiling against my lips. "Well I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you." I won't say it. I can't. I hate how kissing him feels so good. How being in his arms makes me feel safe and less crazy. I try to blame it on the meds. I'm still crying. And I'm still kissing him after seven years.<p>

And then I wake up.

This is the third time I had a dream like this. It always starts after my attacks. I don't know if I find my own way home or if someone carries me, but I always wake up in bed. I have an attack, pass out, then dream about kissing him. Despite my dislike of these dreams, I always wake up aroused. I'm still not taking those bullshit pills.

I hate taking them

I hate doing this. Touching myself to the thought of him. My ree hand finds it's way down to my ass. I push a finger into myself and wince slightly. Biting my lip, I add another and scissor them. I moan softly as they brush that special spot. I do this all to the imagination of Sportacus doing this to me and the more it sickens me, the harder I get. Wave after wave of pleasure surges through my body as I thrust my fingers into myself while stroking my erection at the same time. I'm gasping and panting lightly. I moan his name out once in a while. God I wanna cum, but he won't let me. Imaginary Sportacus whispers in my ear for me to promise to take my meds, reply to his letters, love him. I promise only so I could finally cum. I feel guilty, satisfied, tired, and for some reason, sad. With a sigh, I turn over on my side and fall asleep to the sound of a letter falling to the floor.

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><p><em>"Robbie,<em>

_ I had a feeling you'd be unhappy. I am so sorry for upsetting you. I have no good explanation for why I waited seven years to contact you. I wanna make it up to you. I'll be in town tomorrow. I would really like to see you._

_ Sportacus."_

I put down the letter and sigh. Do I really want to see him? God my head. Should I take my meds? I get up from my desk and go to my medicine cabinet in the kitchen. I don't really want to take my meds but if I'm going to be out where people will be numerous and roaming, I might as well. So, I swallow down my brain killer and put on a sweater instead of the blue vest I was given five years ago that I usually wear. For some reason, a side effect is that I'd feel cold. I already do without them.

As I neared the outskirts of town, heading to my "Happy place", a familiar blue blimp was hovering lazily in the sky. There was a crowd surrounding the ladder at the bottom. I don't even glance at them. I just ignore them and shiver at the cool fall air. When I neared my usual turn, I hear him call me. I can feel everyone's eyes on me. "Robbie wait!" I freeze but don't turn to him. He hugs me tightly and smiles down at me. I look away. "I told you I'd come." The town was still looking at us and it was making me uneasy. I hate being in the spotlight. He lifts my chin and before I realized what was going to happen, we were trapped in a heated kiss. I didn't fight back. I wasn't dreaming this time. I took my meds. And I like it. I like this kiss. He broke the kiss and smiled at me. "Can I walk with you?" I didn't feel my head nod. I lead him to my 'happy place'. It was at a long forgotten overgrown park. An abandoned cabin stood by the shore of a massive lake that was two miles wide with an even longer river leading beyond the are I know into the unknown. I always came here whenever my anxiety got the better of me and I couldn't stand being home. It was quiet, isolated by forest and tall grass, and no one would look for me here. If some one were to look for me. We sat down on a grassy hill that was high enough to almost see the whole lake and to where the river went before the trees got in the way. "I love you Robbie." He said after kissing me again. I was crying. I don't know why. But I was. He wipes my eyes dry and lays me down in the grass. I blush as I look up at him. "Sportacus..." I wrap my arms around his neck and bring him down to kiss me. As we kiss, he tugs at my pants, pulling them down. The cool air was no longer cool. It was hot and getting hotter. I wanted our clothes off so badly. "I blushed darker when he got the bottom half of my body naked enough to have grass sticking into my ass. He had licked two fingers and slowly pushed the two into me. I moaned and arched my back slightly. "R-right there."

"You're so cute and beautiful Robbie."

He says as he presses his fingers deeper into me. I was embarrassed by his words and how I was reacting to his touch. I bite my bottom lip, trying to hold back my moans. I feel empty after he takes out the digits after stretching me. I gripped the back of his shirt in tight mist as he slowly enters me. It hurt a little. Not like a bitch but it hurt. "Are you alright?" I nod. Sportacus was bigger than I expected. It felt like he was getting bigger the longer he waited for me to adjust to him. When I gave him the 'OK' to move, he kissed me and started at slow and gentle thrust. When I got used to this and let out a few moans, he quickens the pace and his thrust become rough. I covered my face as I moaned. It was embarrassing to show him the face I making. I think that's why he purposely pressed his hips deeper into me and rammed into my prostate. "Let me see your face Robbie." I shake my head and try to speak between my moans. "N-no! Ahh... It's embarrassing!" He gently moves my arm to the side and thrust harder. I arch my back and cry out. "Y-you ass! Mmh Y-you asshole pervert! Nnnh~" Even with my eyes closed, I could tell he was smiling. He leans over and kisses me with a chuckle. I put my hand on his chest in a poor attempt to push him away and instead clutch the front of his blue shirt tightly. "You're making such a slutty face Robbie. So cute." He thrust harder just to see me arch my back and moan again, losing my grip on his shirt and reality. "P-pervert! Pervert! Pervert! Nnngh, I-I knew there was something wrong with you! T-that Healthy Superhero act was all a lie- ahh ah naaaah!" He was laughing at me. "Too cute." He slowly turns me around without pulling out until I was on my knees and elbows. He thrust with full force and top speed. "Ah! Sporticus, deeper!" I moaned his name. I was too into it to care how loud I was or how much like a slut I sounded. I was so very close. I was moaning like a slut and loving it. I was fucking loving it and _GOD _I wanted more. He rammed into me harder and harder, causing my moans to grow louder and louder. I didn't care if anyone heard. "S-Sporticus nngh, I'm close." I say. He strokes me and thrust until we both cum.

"Oh God Sportacus..."

I woke up in my bed alone. It couldn't've been a dream. I feel the pain and still a buzz of pleasure. I took my meds. I look over at my dresser and notice that his hat was there. I turn on the tv. The news is on. They're talking about the kiss. That fucking kiss. How dare he take my fucking virginity and leave?!

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><p><em>Therapist: Ok, today, we have to to get down to the main reason why you're here. I'm not going to gossip. I'm not going to badger you about your meds. As order by the hospital and the court, tell me what happened that day.<em>

No.

_Therapist: We are not here so you can do whatever you want. We are here so we can talk about the cause to your anxiety. You know this. Now talk._

*He frowns* I'm lea-

_Therapist: If you leave and don't tell me what you need to tell me, I will have no choice but to discontinue our sessions and report you to the asylum for the mentally ill._

F-fine...

_Five years ago, two years after Sportacus left, I was walking around town as I usually did. It was a bright sunny day, the sky was blue and free of clouds. I-I was walking when _He... _When _He _grabbed me and pulled me into an alley. _He _hit me in the head with something and I fell. _He _ripped off my pants... *tears up* I kicked and screamed and hit _him. He _ got between my legs and held my hands down forcefully. I moved and wiggled around trying to get free. I... I felt _him _try to go in. *He tries to hold back a sob.* I screamed and thrashed around more. I screamed 'stop' and 'no' along with Sportacus' name so many times. I passed out just as someone came to my rescue before _He _could do anything... I didn't even see the guy that saved me. I woke up alone and half naked in a police car, a familiar blue vest draped over me. An officer came and tried to talk to me. "Are you ok?... We were told you were in serious trouble... Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't look nor answer him. I just sobbed into the vest. "A guy..._ H-he_ hit me in the back of the head... Ripped off my pants... No matter how loud I screamed... N-no on came to save me e-except for the owner of this vest... B-but the other guy... I felt him... He was so close... I thought I..." The officer hugged me. Another one came to stand next to him. I could tell be the way they looked at each other that they were more than partners in crime. This made me cry more. If something bad ever happened, they would have each other while I... I had no one..._

_NO ONE!_

Therapist: Robbie...

_Three years later, I was home, still afraid to return outside. I was asleep when _He _snuck in and ripped off my clothes along with the blue vest. I tried to scream and fight back but_ He_ had a gun to my head. _He _once again settled between my legs and forced his way in. I wanted him to kill me. I begged him to. I screamed and called out for Sportacus. *He's crying and sobbing now.* I... I called for him so many times... A-at that point I realized that... That the world hated me. No one was going to save me. I stared at the ripped blue vest until I passed out. I woke up in the hospital. I had screamed my throat raw. I didn't want to talk about it anyway. I still felt the pain. I didn't want to remember. There were officers, doctors, and the press everywhere. They were making too much noise. I was sobbing again. After I left, I was afraid of every shadow and every sound. I didn't feel safe anywhere._

_Therapist: I'm so sorry Robbie..._

Everyone was sorry! Sorry didn't catch the guy. Sorry didn't save me. Sorry didn't and doesn't do shit! Sorry didn't stop me from trying to kill myself. Sorry didn't get me out of therapy. And sorry isn't doing anything right now! _That _still happened... I'm still here... I wish I was dead...

_Therapist: ... Robbie._

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><p>I lay there on floating on the lake's surface. I wanted something to pull me under. Pull me into the darkness. I know I wouldn't drown. I'm already drowning. The sky was too blue. It was blue on THOSE days too. The sky was happy when I was in pain. I knew he was there. I now remembered why I hated him. "I called out for you." I said. "I know." He replied.<p>

"You didn't save me." I close my eyes.

"I tried." He said.

**_Two Years Ago (Sportacus)_**

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Something was wrong. I could feel it. I sit up and look around. The alarm on the vest wasn't going off. I can assume he's alright. He sleeps with it on. Just as I was laying back down, the alarm went off. "Robbie!" I jumped down from my blimp onto a building below. I hopped rooftops as I raced over to Robbie's. When I got there, I could hear shuffling. Then Robbie shouting. I tried to open the hatch but it wouldn't budge. He always left it unlocked. "Robbie I'm coming!" I tried to open it as much as I could but it still wouldn't open. I ran to the police for help. They weren't moving fast enough. I ran ahead of them. The hatch was open when I came back. I called for him. No answer. I hopped down and ran over to Robbie's room. His sheets were bloody and he wasn't moving. I cried. I held him close to me and cried. I pushed away the stray hairs from his face and kissed his forehead. "I'm so sorry Robbie. I'm so sorry... I'm sorry I got here too late..."

**_Present (back to Robbie)_**

"I've been feeling guilty ever since, Robbie." He wouldn't look at me. "I understand why you hate me. I hate me too." He left again. I had fallen in love with superman but it turned out I was his kryptonite. That proved that I shouldn't be alive. If the darkness wouldn't pull me under... I can already see my therapist trying to talk to me about depression and how I'm as important as any person on Earth. The world won't cry for me.

_But you're someone's entire world._

She always said that when I considered suicide. That was another reason why I hated her. She was too happy, too positive. Sometimes you have to think negative. In my case, I don't even know if it's positive or negative that I have Sportacus in my life. I don't know if it's positive or negative that I'm losing him. I... I admit it. I love him. I always loved him. I loved him so much, I sewed and fixed his vest that _HE_ ripped from my body. I always loved him. I loved him so much that I still feel like he would never love me for real because of what happened to me. Yet he loves ME so much that he took the blame.

**End chapter 1.**


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